Our "adventure" is now exactly a week ago. I haven’t had much time to think about it since the stress since arriving in Tokyo at 6am. I had to teach the whole day and was so sleepy at the end that I would just fall on my futon and sleep.
Fortunately I didn’t have any muscle pain but I felt quite weak on Sunday. The whole week I tried to catch up what I missed in school but I wasn't really doing well, so yesterday was the first time I could re-read what I wrote in RT and Hanamaki. I was quite impressed by how much my perspective changed over the days. All my emotions seemed to be a lot stronger than they are now... Already it's almost like reading what somebody else told me a few days ago again. But I guess it is because it was so different than anything else I had done before.
There were a lot of things I wanted to change because they were strange to read even for myself but then I thought that wasn't the goal of the whole diary project. When I wrote the things I felt this way. They seem messy and without structure but that was exactly how I felt. Then with the routine my entries got boring but that is what routine is right? And at the end I didn't want to go. Didn't want to leave the people and my new found purpose. But as strange as it sounds that was what I felt, a deep connection to people I barely knew a week and a kind of addiction to do something good.
And now I don't want to change a word of it any more.
There are a few things I would like to say to the people who plan to go up North or maybe are unsure whether they should go or not. After one week I'm of course not being an expert in volunteering but please let me give the following advice: The camp consists of tents which surround a big kitchen. There is just one toilet available for each gender and no shower. You have the option to take a shower/bath in the onsen 20 minutes away but it costs 400¥ every time. Don't budget on saving this money, every day you are out there you'll need a shower after it. The only other possibility is to wash yourself over a sink. There are no washing machines, so make sure that you have enough easy to wash clothes with you. In any case you should bring a towel (you can rent it in the onsen but that's again extra money) and anti-insect spray. When we were there there were just a few mosquitoes but since the camp is in the middle of a forest I would make sure to take some. You will need some kind of light for the tent and your way back from the onsen. Additionally I would recommend bringing robust but light clothes and a set of dish/bowls/chop sticks and maybe something like a cup. You can cook in the kitchen and all you need for this is available but besides this there are just plastic things in the kitchen which aren’t nice to use.
You'll get boots, working gloves (but at least for me they were too big, so if you have some at home, bring them), working glasses and face masks (mostly the once you get in every convenience stores). There are just a few possibilities to charge things like a cell phone but it's possible and even softbank signals are available but not everywhere and every time. So maybe it's best to tell your beloved that you are not available for the time you are in the north. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble telling everybody how you feel and what you are doing here. You'll better sleep in that time ;)
Ok, so far for the 'technical' things.
Emotionally... I'm in a way glad that I don't know how the area looked like before the tsunami because then you don't have the horrible feeling of what got lost. Lives, infrastructure, nature, houses... But still it doesn't matter how much you'll prepare yourself seeing this destruction. Finding your first photo will hit you badly. But don't try to close yourself. Write it down or talk to the other volunteers, find a way to deal with it and it will become better every day. One day I found a lot of things from a young boy. I know his name because it was written on his English study book. I know what he looks like and that he loves insects, pokemon and duel master. I found his sports bag with shoes and some of his clothes. And even it was at the end of our stay it was so difficult for me to not let this get me down. You will have movies in your head and you will find reasons why this boy must have survived. And that is just normal I think. I collected all those things for him, sure that he will get them back. And why not? The house was quite up the hill... Well, I start again... What I wanted to say is... It doesn't matter what helps you to feel better, just do it even you feel silly about it or even it means you make jokes in totally inappropriate situations etc. The same for your physical health. If you need a break, take it... You won't help anybody if you aren't totally fit mentally and physically. Sleep enough, drink 2 liters of water during work, eat to get strong and talk to the others to get mentally even stronger.
I know that all doesn't sound very tempting but what you get back for it... the satisfaction to do good and help, the sense of community you develop in the group... This is amazing. I touched things, smelled things and saw things I thought I would never have to experience in my life. The hygiene is a disaster and you will be so dirty every day but I would go back any minute if I get the next chance to do it (can't wait for the summer break).
I won't lie... it's a pretty tough job... but what is a few days of sweat and back pain if you can help people who have nothing left in life but a piece of ground full of mud and garbage?
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